Monday, June 11, 2007

The person with the ringing mobile phone: Get out of here !!!

Discovered the best of Craig's List yesterday and well it had me engrossed for hours ( ) . Have to say that they had me in splits.

Here's a pearl which I found especially amusing (mind you , for some of the "Best of the Best ", I suggest reader discretion. Caveat emptor , you have been warned.

To: Guy Who Screamed Obscenities at the Ballet the Other Night:

Date: 2007-05-07, 11:59AM PDT
It was Don Quixote, a rather fun full-length ballet, nobody dies like in the dreary Giselle or Swan Lake.

Another fantastic performance by the SF Ballet. I know you enjoyed it. Our whole section knows you enjoyed it. Every time a dancer would perform a particularly impressive jump, or a series of 3+ pirouettes, you would say, "Whoa!" or "Jaysus!"

This, I didn't mind. As a former dancer and now a season-ticket holder of our City's fine company, I get a kick out of hearing others' excitement for an artform I hold dear. Much better than the guy next to me whose head started to fall like a kid in an 8th grade math class.

So, the curtain falls. The end. Applause.

Curtain comes up and the dancers begin to take their bows. You notice a few people standing up. Was it an ovation? NO! They were LEAVING! These people could not WAIT to get to their cars (they were obviously not MUNI riders, walkers or cab-hailers like most of us in the City)! They had no time for CLAPPING! They had to get out now!

It was then you yelled, in your beautiful gray-haired old crotchety man voice, "WILL YOU PEOPLE SIT DOWN AND LET THE *POLITE* PEOPLE SHOW THEIR APPRECIATION?!," slight pause, "YA ASSHOLES!"

Now, I have seen dozens of ballets in my relatively short lifetime of 25 years. Never, not once, have I encountered a fan of ballet quite like you. At the ballgame, sure, that kind of yelling is par for the course. At the ballgame we eat peanuts and leave the shells in piles at our feet.

Sir, this was THE BALLET.

And for your outburst directed at the people who think somewhere in their tiny brains that it is even remotely acceptable to get up and leave during the curtain call, remotely acceptable to not even clap for the world class artists who just performed a most difficult and worthwhile ballet for our enjoyment (artists whose salary is about that of a standard office receptionist), remotely acceptable to WALK OUT while the house lights are up and we can all (including the dancers) see...

Kind sir, for your outburst, screaming at these "assholes", I thank you from the bottom of my art-loving heart.

I've been wanting to say that for a long time.

And WOW! They sat their asses down, didn't they?! A few were even clapping.

You are the BEST.

Yeah !!!! Wish we had more such people around . Delhi needs them , India needs them.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Vida, Vini and we lost this one too.

It is apparently fashionable to lose in this neighborhood. The boys have been getting poorer scores relative to the "sugar and all things nice" in the CBSE exams ever since it was fashionable for water to boil at 100 degree centigrade, it appears. Year after year, we read the same old stories when the CBSE class 10 and 12 board exam results are published.

Well , this losing streak spills over on to later in life as far as image makeovers go. I mean Amitabh Bacchan just had to get a French beard , Karishma Kapoor and Shilpa Shetty had dramatic facial changes after their makeovers.

Watch the two videos below and decide for yourself.It's tough being a man. How about a self esteem fund as the first video suggests, but, for men.

Monday, June 04, 2007

That's me they are talkin' about

Nobel laureate Dr. Watson got his genome sequenced ( ) and I , hmm.. , got my Visual DNA.